Little Gems - Cloppa Castle
Episode V - Caught in a Jam
Since the invention of the Bruda Banger, the soldiers at Cloppa Castle have not had to pull the Queen around in her chariot. As a result of this and little action from the Hasbeenes, the men of the fort have grown a little fat and lazy. The Queen is appalled by this and goes to see Cue-ee-dee. He is busy making a new oil purifier machine. She asks him to do something about the men and he uses them to power the machine, hence getting them exercise. The new machine produces different grades of oil for different purposes. Elbow tries to impress the Queen by showing the men shackled to the machine. Just as things are going well, the Hasbeenes attack and Elbow cannot find the keys for the cuffs. The Queen calls for Mudlin and orders him to find a spell to release the men. He thinks he has come with a solution but alas all that happens is a new pipe appears on the machine. It suddenly starts producing jam puffs which explode. These are then used against the Hasbeenes which although stops them to begin with, the jam attracts bees which eventually sees them off the castle assault.
Episode VI - A State of emergency
There is a crisis in the castle, in fact as we speak another crisis has appeared. Firstly there has been a series of thefts at the local castles and the King wants to ensure that nothing happens at his own castle. He has to attend a meeting on security with King Cedric the Depleted. The other crisis I spoke of comes in the form of a strike by the castle guards. They have gone on strike and are having a lie in as protest. The guards want two pence a week increase in pay but the King is adamant that he will not pay them. Mudlin's attempt at producing a burglar alarm ends in failure (no surprises there). It is now up to Cue-ee-dee and albrite to solve the issue of security. The King eventually goes off to his security conference and a little quiet descends on the castle. Before he goes, however, he instructs Cue-ee-dee to make sure the security is vert tight. Cue-ee-dee intends to make sure that even a mouse could not enter the castle without him knowing about it. A few days later, a strange shape is seen climbing the castle walls. The burglar alarm instantly captures him and ties him up and sends him to the dungeon. It turns out to be the King who has returned to test the castle security. Eventually the King agrees that he has been a little hard of late and gives in to the guards demands for extra money. The condition attached though, is that they first remove all trace of that burglar alarm.
Episode VII - Off Duty
The castle guards are protesting again at the fact they have been on duty for months without a break. The Queen decides that they should all have a day off and go to the seaside. Before they can go Cue-ee-dee has to build a new wagon to carry everyone. Alas for poor Cue-ee-dee he has built inside his lab and the doorway is not big enough for it to get out. Whilst this problem is being dealt with, the castle comes under attack from the Hasbeenes. Elbow is most annoyed as this may mean he cannot have a holiday. Suddenly the Byegones realise that they could use Beosweyne battering ram to smash a hole in the laboratory and thus get the wagon out. It all goes to plan and Beosweyne comes rushing into the castle and crashes through the lab wall. He is about to claim victory when the Queen invites both him and his men for a day out. A twenty four hour truce is thus called. Everyone is very happy and has a nice time relaxing, although the sea is at very low tide. At the end of the day they are all hungry and it is up to Mudlin to bring out the food. He makes a complete mess of it and Beosweyne is not happy about it. He starts to complain and the Queen leaps into her chariot and with the wagon in tow, she heads for the castle leaving everyone stranded at the beach. Beosweyne decides to show all the others how to organise a feast and party back at his camp. Everyone has a great time part from the Queen who is in bed at Cloppa Castle.
Episode VIII - Besieged, Bothered and Bewildered
A note is left outside the castle addressed to the King and Queen. It is from Beosweyne, he has rounded up all the local food and drink and now holds the castle to ransom. He intends to starve the castle folk out so he can seize it. Things are not looking very good for the King and Queen and as all the food in the castle will not last them very long. Cue-ee-dee has a plan, he intends to dig a tunnel under the castle wall, thus allowing people out of the castle. Meanwhile Beosweyne puts all the food he has captured inside a tent and doubled the guard. He has also put his men on half rations which they are not too pleased about. Eventually the tunnel leads out and under the tent and so so the castle is able to restock all the food. Unfortunately Beosweyne is now in need of food and it is breakfast time.
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